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Location: Regina, Canada

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

As we grow older do we lose a part of our former selves?

I am not sure how long I have been pondering this question but it seems that ever since I moved to Regina there has been a split on my internal interpretation of myself. Perhaps it is just changes that have occurred externally in my life that make me feel as though I myself have actually changed. They say that the past is another country and it hasn't been until recently that I have completely understood that cliche. My life in Weyburn seems so distant and different that sometimes it does feel totally foriegn. I can definately admit to being a nostalgic and the drawing I have towards simpliar times. But, were they ever that simple though? I have considered this for sometime and feel that perhaps the human mind (or mine at least) does not allow us to believe that our lives are simple even when they are. We have all had hard times and we have all had times that were much simpliar but it is only by reflecting back do we recognize these differences. There is always something in the present to worry about - consider your childhood. Did you ever run away or at least entertain the thought? What were your reasons? In my case my dad may have yelled at me or my sisters pissed me off. Things that seem so trivial now that we reflect, but at the time were worthy of uprooting my entire stable life into one of almost certain failure had I actually not came back (without anyone noticing no less). So it would seem that no matter the circumstances stress is prevalent in our lives from childhood to adulthood. And that although our previous stresses are now mostly considered foolish at the time they were just as serious and threatening as the ones that afflict us today. So do we really change with our experiences, our problems and their solutions or lack there of? I like to think that I am still basically the same person with a bit more wisdom.

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