Yesterday I did nothing, I didn't check my emails, I didn't make any important phones calls I basically did nothing constructive all day and it felt incredible. You know what I did do? I played video games. I listened to music and watched some dvds. I also read for a bit. It did the trick though because lately I have been on this kick of making the most of my time be it getting errands done or just going out, in doing so I have left myself little breathing room. I have been getting more stressed at work and have been slacking as a result. Not that I get paid nearly enough for how much work I do put in but that goes for a lot of people who are working without any formal training or schooling. We get the shit end of the stick not that it is much better for people with degrees who come out of school only to find a job that barely covers their loan payments if they can find a job at all. Of course there are always exceptions but that is just my experience and perhaps why I gave up on university. I know that I could very well come out of sociology with masters degree and still not be able to find a job other than being an instructor whom are very poorly paid and are having an increasingly more difficult time finding full time work as the unversity money machine keeps growing and swallowing their own morals.
At the end of my winter semester last year I was in a really bad spot - disillusioned with university but still maintaining a deep belief in what I had learned. I went into the program hoping that I could change the world but there are few solutions in sociology just a lot of bitching, elitism and few future prospects. So I went on my trip to England thinking that I would come to some sort of epiphany about my life and what I was to do with it. Like most things expected to happen that didn't at all.
... Then came the canoe trip. I was excited by it but felt it would be superceded by my trip to Europe. In fact not only was it not overshadowed but I think it did some overshadowing of its own. I felt an incredible sense of freedom that I don't think I have ever felt before. More than anything for once I felt as though I was exactly where I was supposed to be and doing exactly what I was meant to do. I don't feel at home in our society and never have, I have always questioned captitalism and even from a young age I wondered why it existed . I thought that I could deal with these feelings and find a home for myself in sociology but I was only given more questions with no answers or vague ones. So instead of dealing with society through sociology I am going to run from it with ecotourism. I am going to do some growing up and maybe start a business or maybe I will come back ready to make a difference or at least try.
Peace Folks
